I Raised You Up

Exodus 9:16 - For Scripture says to Pharaoh: "I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth."

This has been one of my favorite verses for a long time.  I wanted God to display his power through me as he did through Pharaoh…uh with some exceptions of course, no plagues of locusts, no endless amount of frogs, not being covered in boils would ne nice, no plague of hail mixed with fire, no hardening of my heart, no excessive amounts of flies, no loss of my first born, and well nothing inconvenient or uncomfortable at all.  I think that’s fairly reasonable don’t you?

In today’s society we don’t see a lot of people with leprosy, being covered in boils, having their towns over-run by frogs, being plagued by locusts, or even being stoned to death.  What we do see though is depression that is so severe it is often debilitating, addictions (drugs, alcohol, pornography, etc.), that are so strong they destroy not only the addicts life but that of their family as well, materialism that is so strong that it becomes more important than the people around us. 

Through all of these trials, imperfections, and through our suffering the hope we have is that while we are ALL messed up we can still be used for God to display his power.  “God doesn’t call the qualified he qualifies the called” (Henry T. Blackaby).  “Noah was a drunk, Abraham was too old, Jacob was a liar, Leah was ugly, Joseph was abused, Moses was a stuttering criminal, Samson was promiscuous, Gideon was doubtful, Rahab was a prostitute, Jeremiah was depressed, David had an affair and committed murder, Elijah was mentally unbalanced and suicidal, Isaiah preached naked, When God called Jonah, Jonah ran away, Naomi was an old widow, Job went bankrupt, Peter betrayed Jesus, The Disciples fell asleep, Martha was a worrier, The Samaritan woman was a multiple divorcee, Zacchaeus was greedy, Paul was engrained in another religion, Timothy was too young and had ulcers, Lazarus was dead, __________ (your name) was…__________.  But regardless of our failures God can still use us if we allow him to do so.  But I caution you if you truly do want to be used by God he very well may take you down to depths of depression, doubt, fear, physical illness that you have never experienced before.  Not because he wants you to be miserable or to see you suffer but because he wants to be able to display his power through you so that others can see that he is good, faithful, all powerful, and loving.

So why am I writing all of this?  Well to be honest I feel that this is where I am in my life.  I am unemployed, our finances are tight, my depression seems to be getting worse by the day, my anxiety from trying to find a job keeps growing by each rejection letter I receive in the mail, and at times my self worth is so low that I often wonder why I am here.  I am not trying to complain or make you feel sorry for me because I know many of you have been through or are going through even more difficult situations than I am.  The thing is though I have often prayed that God might display his power through me; I just never really understood what that might look like or how difficult that might be and for all I know I still don’t know what that fully looks like.  The one thing I do know is that my faith and hope rest in him regardless of the outcome.  “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).

I have attached a link that has a list of verses that can be helpful while going through difficult times. 

http://www.openbible.info/topics/trials_and_tribulations

I Would Like to Help

For quite a while now I have been filling out job applications, sending my resume to various businesses, making phone calls, and going to interviews that have resulted in me still being very unemployed.  As I began thinking about all the time I have spent looking for work I have started thinking that maybe I have been approaching my search for work from the wrong direction.  Instead of having a motivation of finding work to serve others my motivation has been to make money.  Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with making money, and I like having a source of income just as much as the next guy, but I don’t want that to be why I am looking for work.  As it says in Matthew 6:24, “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money”.   If my main purpose in finding a job is to make money then serving God (and others) becomes secondary.

Through lots of thinking and praying I have decided that I am done filling out applications, sending in resumes, making phone calls and going to interviews.  Instead I am going to be offering my time and services to whoever needs them.  If you or someone you know is in need of help in any way (please no child watching, I have two of my own who already run me ragged on a daily basis), I would like to offer you my service.  I’m not going to charge anything for any of the work I do for a couple of reasons.  One, I know that times are tough in our economy and my desire is to help people by serving them and not putting them in an even tighter position; secondly, God has been faithful in providing for me and my family and we have no reason to question his faithfulness and how he will continue to provide for us in whatever ways he deems fit.  So if I can help you or someone you know in some way PLEASE let me know because I would love to!  If you live in Alabama, Kentucky, Florida, Arizona or any other foreign country I apologize but I most likely won’t be able to assist you due to distance complications.  But if you are around west Michigan or even a little farther away and could use a hand with something (or know of someone who could use some help), leave me a message and I will be more than happy to assist you in any way that I can.

Romans 12: 4-7:  For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach.

Emu Love

I’m a big fan of “The Five Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman.  I have read through his book a few times and have benefitted from it in some way each time.  Something that I began thinking about this last time I read through Dr. Chapman’s book is how these languages can be used as a tool of selfishness.

My love language is giving and receiving gifts.  Receiving a gift from my wife (as well as giving a gift to my wife) expresses love to me.  I don’t need a new car, a new television or anything big, but when my wife buys me something like a Frappuccino from Starbucks or a pack of cigarettes from the bum on the corner that means a lot to me.  It tells me that she was thinking about me and went out of her way to show me that she cares for me.  But every so often I wonder if I restrict my spouses’ ability to express her love to me whether I realize it or not.  For example, say I want to build an Emu farm out behind our house.  Now she knows that I have a desire to build an Emu farm, but like any good, smart, loving wife would, there is just no way on God’s green earth she is going to allow me to do this.  So instead, she may bring me other gifts or express her love for me in other ways.  But no matter what she gives me or what she does for me, if it’s not an Emu, then I may be less likely to notice the expression of love behind her actions because I am focused on obtaining one thing: love in the form of an Emu. (That just doesn’t sound good, but you get my point).  The developing problem is that I am basically forcing her to literally and figuratively buy my love in order for me to accept the fact that she loves me.  And whether or not she does buy my love (in the form of an Emu in this case), I am greatly limiting her ability to do so.

After some time goes by and I still have not received my “Emu”, I may eventually be unable to tell the difference between my selfishness and her “lack of love” for me.  Because I want an Emu so bad I can’t see anything beyond my own blurred vision of what love is and am basically rejecting all the other forms of love that she is expressing to me.  I guess it is also possible to say the same thing about my relationship with Christ.

My wife and I were recently talking about how we sometimes fail to meet each other’s love quota.  Not that we purposely mean to, but life tends to happen, or selfishness rears its ugly head, or we have a disagreement, or………(fill in the blank), and we just don’t express our love for each other like we should.  I don’t know if the above is something I have ever done to my wife.  I hope and pray that I haven’t and for that matter never will, but I also realize I am human and that I can be self-seeking at times.  When we got married, part of my vows stated that our love will only be made perfect through Christ.  I have to admit, I am so glad that is true because I know I am incapable of loving Vicki (or my girls) the way she deserves to be loved.      

DBMA

Growing up I never thought I would get married and I was certain I would never have two little girls who would have me wrapped around their little fingers.  But now that I have that, I wouldn't trade any of it for the world.  Yet on almost a daily basis I don’t even think about how blessed I really am.  

When I was giving our girls a bath the other night Brie handed me her crayon (yes the same crayon that Ava ate), and asked me to write some letters on the inside of the bath tub.  First she asked me to write a “B” for Brianna, then an “M” for mommy, then “D” for daddy and “A” for Ava.  We ended up going through our ENTIRE family which took some time, but for whatever reason she wanted our four letters on one section of the bath tub while the rest of them were scattered throughout the rest of the tub.  After I wrote out all the letters I just sat there and stared at the four of ours, D B M A (at least until Brie  sent a small tidal wave of pee infused bath water in my direction), and I think for the first time it REALLY hit me that I have a family.  Yeah, I have obviously known that I have had a family for a while now, I’m not that oblivious.  But all too often I tend to plow through life without really conceptualizing the magnitude of what God has blessed me with.  I still am just amazed that he would even give me such an incredible and important honor as this.  Sometimes I wonder if he really does know me, because if he knows me the way I know me I don’t think I would trust me with such a huge responsibility.  But I know with his unconfined knowledge of who I am he knows me in ways that I can’t begin to imagine and trusts me more than I will ever trust myself.  Psalm 139: 1-6 explains it perfectly. 

Psalm 139: 1-6: O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.  You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.  You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.  Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord.  You hem me in – behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

It is really nice to know that God knows me better than I know myself.  Because with how easy it is for me to become distracted by what this world has to offer it’s good to know that at least one of us knows where we are going.

Christmas Eve

It's Christmas Eve and Vicki and I are spending the night in the hospital with our new baby girl Ava.  I am a bit bummed we are unable to be with our family tonight and tomorrow, but we are very excited to have Ava with us now!  As I was walking around the hospital tonight with Vicki, I was thinking about just how blessed we are.  Even though we are in the hospital, we are here with a beautiful healthy baby girl.  So many other people are here because they are fighting to stay alive, we are here however because we are celebrating a new life.  Ava is such a huge blessing to us along with her sister Brie and we couldn't be any happier with the family that God has blessed us with!  Tomorrow on Christmas day we will be bringing Ava home and adapting to life with two children.  There will be many sleepless nights, but I wouldn't trade any of it for the world.  Saying that God is good would be a severe understatement.  He is so far beyond any words we could ever say or imagine.  Merry Christmas!  I hope God has blessed all of you as much as he has us.